At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
