A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
