I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Randomize
