My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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