had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
