everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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