Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
