What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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