Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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