There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
