I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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