he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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