dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
