Are we in a gay sports bar?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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