fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
