Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
