her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize