I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
