My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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