My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
