so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
he shaved USA in his pubs
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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