She is in my trunk
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
