THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
