How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
