you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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