It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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