Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
