Yo dont text me then not text me
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
