Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
