i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
