Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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