Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
