now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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