Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize