you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
