God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
