i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I feel like death gave me a hand job
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
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