we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
