ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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