if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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