I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
It's just like the Real World with babies
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
