3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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