I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Buhtt sex?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
