So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
where are you?
Hypothermia
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
