You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I want to fling myself into the sun
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize