You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
