can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I have fence marks all over my body
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
