I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize