Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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