no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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