I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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