she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
