she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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