Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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