i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
i think my cat just said my name.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
