It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
