fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
