Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize