Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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