sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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