It was confusing and full of hummus
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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