so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize