My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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