You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
