What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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